It is odd to be blogging relationship advice because I got very lucky. I met Annie, who is near perfect, and somehow she liked me and I followed her lead and 6 months later we were engaged. I am not sure that I did many things right but I did do these three things.
These steps are not foolproof and there is no guarantee on timing.
- Become the kind of person who the kind of person you want to marry would want to marry. (Go ahead and re read that line) If you are hoping to meet, date, and eventually marry someone who is caring, thoughtful, ambitious, and faithful but you are not those things than chances are he or she won’t be interested in you. This shouldn’t be a trick you use but rather truly developing your character. Chances are that is who you want to be deep down anyway.
- Be in the places where the kind of person you want to marry would be. If you want to meet, date and eventually marry someone who cares deeply about you and is not primarily interested in what you can provide them then your chances go up significantly if you meet them somewhere other than the club at 2 AM.
- Be reasonable, but be courageous. Annie likes to make fun of me (appropriately so) for how I first let her know that I was interested in her. I asked her to talk about something totally unrelated and proceeded to talk for 2 hours before finally saying, “I think I like you.” I wasn’t graceful but I was courageous. You don’t need to be sure you are going to marry someone before you go on a date with them. Be mature, spend time with them, ask them on a date (Guys can ask girls and girls can ask guys). Don’t try to read between the lines and don’t force them to try to pick up on signals you are giving off.
*It has been hard for me to hit publish because I am scared that this will come across as if being married is best for everyone. I don’t believe anyone should be defined by being single, married or a parent etc.
** Just being honest… this is primarily written with YL kids and former YL kids in mind.